TRAUMA – a fashionable word or a harsh reality?
We feel safe as long as it does not claim a lot of space in our life, but we forget that its mechanisms are so subtle and hidden…as long as we do not feel a certain pain or discomfort, we consider there is not there, and we can even decide to shut it down, to suppress it.
TRAUMA – a fashionable word or a harsh reality?
We feel safe as long as it does not claim a lot of space in our life, but we forget that its mechanisms are so subtle and hidden…as long as we do not feel a certain pain or discomfort, we consider there is not there, and we can even decide to shut it down, to suppress it.
I recently started to read the last book by Gabor Mate (The Myth of Normal…) and I vividly recommend it to all of you. It is bold, sharp, inquisitive, truthful and full of insights and good examples. I also recommend the movie he protagonized 2 years ago, The WISDOM OF TRAUMA.
I know something about trauma. Last year I got my diploma as a therapist using the method created by Franz Rupert, abbreviated IoPT (Identity-oriented Psychotrauma Therapy). For a while I was seeing trauma and trauma survival strategies all over the place in many people around…it was part of a survival mechanism I put in place while in my own process of healing from the past wounds.
Gabor Mate speaks about the distinction between T-trauma and t-trauma and how much trivialized this word and concept is in the society to the point it becomes a normal of our daily life and we do not even know it, as it governs us from hidden layers of our psyche and constructs many artificial situations and behaviors that are not healthy.
For me trauma is always TRAUMA…does not matter how it starts or how it develops along our life. None of us is safe, as long as we take life and breathe and grow as humans, we are always confronted with people and situations that have an impact on us to the point to make us disconnect from the pain, suffering or other states our body can hold.
And how much a body can hold…well, I have a real and deep intimacy with the notion of PAIN. That kind of Pain that when opened (like from a Pandora box) feels so deep and difficult to contain that we rather invent excuses and strategies to escape it, to numb it, to forget it, to not feel it.
I recently had a conversation with a colleague at work and she was complaining about a pain in her shoulder that developed after a bike accident and injury. She took an injection of cortisone and felt relieved of pain – so happy after many days with living with this physical pain. I asked her how it feels to really feel the body? Even if in pain, her body was asking to be felt…and probably heard, as there might be a not so visible pain beyond the physical one.
Yes, this is what we do with our Trauma as well. We feel safe as long as it does not claim a lot of space in our life, but we forget that its mechanisms are so subtle and hidden…as long as we do not feel a certain pain or discomfort, we consider there is not there, and we can even decide to shut it down, to suppress it. Only when something triggers the trauma response or reactivates a past trauma, we pay attention. But in most of the cases we do not wish to stop for very long on it, or to research it…why bother?
I might be a masochist, but for the last 7 years understanding/healing my TRAUMAS has been a goal and became almost an obsession. I have worked with many different tools and methods on myself…while also working with other people.
I wished to really heal, I gave myself 5 years but then at a certain point I realized how complex everything was and how many layers TRAUMA can have that probably not even 10 years of intense ad deep work would be enough to release it, to integrate it and be sure I will not repeat certain situations and patterns.
TRAUMA is real, is deep, is unseen most of the times and it takes over in many situations that are difficult and challenging in our life.
Does it pay off to work with our traumas? To take them seriously and try to heal?
I do not have a straight or the right answer…I have felt very tired for more than 2 years now, while integrating many processes that I have opened at the same time. Sometimes I wished to be able to not feel anything at all, as I was feeling everything all the time and so deeply…my nervous system often gave signals had enough of all this. But other times the rest and practices I needed helped to ride the wave…and back to the work I was doing.
Yes, working with the trauma is not an easy ride and is maybe not for all of us. But at a certain point can bring us to a point of no return, and to an upgrade of our human condition to a conscious and mindful one. When before we react or we feel the trigger we stop and understand what is behind that situation or pattern and choose to thrive instead of survive.
I wish that every human being could one day have the right to choose between survival and thriving modes of life. To actually know the difference is not for all, the most advanced societies, where we still freedom of choice and tools to understand it, can afford this luxury. But others might not, as long as trauma will govern and be accepted as Normal, it will even be difficult to create a trauma-informed society. But not impossible and here I make an appeal to our individual responsibility to actualize ourself, to read, to research, to ask for help and really heal.
Indeed, it is a big responsibility to not only accept that Trauma exists, but also to decide to do something about it.
It is our inherent human structure, the frequency of the heart, that can lead the pathway towards this healing, awakening, awarness rise or whatever you wish to call it.
It is in the Heart that we can find the strenght and courage necesary to embarque in this self-inquiry and discovery journey in the deep waters of the subconscious realm where our ghosts and shadows live.
It is in the Body that our survival or thrive mechanisms can be searched, cleansed, accepted and activated…and when you learn to listen to your Body something magical, a new door or window will open. So you can become the owner or the author of your own Life story and the magician able to transform your wounds into treasures and magical healing gifts.
And so it is!
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That kind of truth…that many do not wish to hear
I am not an authority in terms of spirituality. I only started on this path in an intensive and systematic way in 2014, one year after my son was born. Since then I have learned a lot, I have tried many things and techniques, I went to many people to ask advise or support or therapy. I am aware there is still so much to learn, to experience and to heal.