And as long as I felt something was changing inside myself I could probably consider that as a healing process.

Then I jumped into some shamanic practices and the plant medicine (and other Amazonian practices) opened the world of psychedelic trips inside my own subconscious and lost memories of trauma…I went deep but at the same time I fragmented in more parts than the ones I was already due to those traumas. I took the whole experience as mind blowing and also a great lesson of healing (without even knowing that in some cases I got re-traumatized during the trip or session). But the biggest insights I ever got from these sessions and retreats was that all the answers I was looking for were already inside me, what I only needed was to find a path or tools to find them.

Then somatic therapy, constellation work and later IoPT arrived in my life and the journey started to take a deeper and more serious turn…and I could never go back or wish to do so. I started to feel connected to something bigger and wider than my own reality while I was trying to redefine my own path and approach to all these practices brought up. This time healing was happening because the body was showing me things and I started to connect with suppressed feelings and deeply burried shadows …as the Pandora box would open inside myself and show me all that I refused before to see, making me feel all that I did not want to feel. Powerful, exhausting, excruciating but also deeply cathartic the healing path became like a long road, full of ups and downs or a dangerous navigation in stormy seas.

Today I walk two paths of healing – my own, continuing with therapy and practices that make me able navigate the stress of daily life and proceed into the realms of hidden stories that my body and psyche can hold – and of the others. Healing paths sometimes cross each other and I share what I know and experience with like and soul-minded people.

But as a therapist I do not sugar coat when I say I feel sorry (but also judgmental) for those who say: I give you healing, come to me and I quick fix you!

It is not like that healing works. Because healing cannot be a byproduct, an offering, a goal as long as we keep disconnected and in search of something we will never achieve. HEALING only happens when our body is seen and recognized as a vehicle and sacred container for a personal process, when we connect with what is inside us and we do not run from the intensity of that feeling or emotion, no matter how difficult is. Healing is not something we can serve on a silver plate according a precise recipe and claim we can dose it, according the required ingredients. HEALING is an individual state (and also embodied perception) and it often comes with a price that many do not wish to pay. It requires full awareness, courage, humility, patience, flexibility and resilience…and much more. And most of the times we need to be guided in the process by someone we trust and can hold space for us when things get ugly and depleting, when we almost wish to give up!

If today you are on your own healing path but you still wait for someone to save you and give you a magical potion to heal your wounds then you will need to change your own approach to HEALING. If you are an overachiever, over-giver or just someone wishing to save this insane world, know that healing only comes when the OVER part of what you do is re-oriented towards yourself and not towards the other. If you prefer to play the victim song of self-pity and how messed up your life is, then you will have to learn a new song, coming from the depth of your heart, in resonance with your own body and its wisdom.

Many things can change when you change your expectations about Healing. The real HEALING will only become a reality when you will stop escaping self-sabotaging mechanisms and beliefs and you will embrace those parts of you that feel misplaced, misunderstood or even sloppy, scattered or inadequate…in their own way they are your teachers and eye-openers. And they wish to get together and dance at the beat of your Drum for bringing back all of You, in a healthy, calm and harmonious reality.

Start today, become aware of All the parts of you and how they connect with each other and you will learn to Self-Heal. You already know how to do it, maybe you need somebody to remember you this. Or just a big smile to encourage you to do it. AHO!