Mid-life crisis or awakening to our true Self
Mid-life crisis or awakening to our true Self
I see lately many people complaining about a huge crisis they go through at the mid-point of their life. People with a nice social and professional status, with a family and kids, apparently happy and with no reason to complain. From outside they look fulfilled and having everything sorted out in their life.
But…if we could look inside the Soul and Heart of these people we could see the exhaustion, the depression, the tiredness and other heavy energies like that.
I have been through this. I am now 46 (47 soon) but around 39, right after my son came in this world, all my world turned upside down and I had to take many decisions that affected my and his life in a permanent way. I went to hell and it took me almost 8 years to get back and recover, to upgrade myself to the point that when I look back I see what happened as a big lesson. I got my learning and now I can share wisdom with others.
You would ask yourself why this happens around the age of 40 to many people. Why suddenly anything does not make sense and we feel a kind of void inside? And what the best approach will be for this situation, how to get out of it.
I do not pretend to have all answers. I merely speak from my own experience and also from personal observations from many hours of relating, guiding and mentoring other people. I am a researcher by profession so my mind is wired to enquire, observe and formulate questions and find answers. When I add my heart everything suddenly becomes even clearer and the hidden energies reveal themselves with truthfulness.
It happens at a mid-point of the life of a person because at this age people already accumulated a lot of baggage, in terms of traumas, emotional triggers, negative behaviors and patterns. Many people get into this at a kind of breaking point, as it is not possible to continue as before and still there is no apparent solution to the inner struggle. And some feel like they will break if nothing will be done…and somehow desperately search for a solution. In some cases a kind of spiritual awakening is happening that leads them to frenetically get into spiritual practices and therapies.
And thus another trauma survival mechanism replaces the old one…
Since I have started my own path of awakening to my true Self and reality I became aware that I should not search for answer outside of me.
If you feel this void and at a stagnant point in your life that looks like a mid-life crisis take a good look at your life as a series of events and interactions that served to the purpose you are now in this situation. Your Inner child is claiming more space and asks you to listen to his or her Voice and crying…for many years you neglected him or her and pretended to be the Adult, not realizing that many times your Outer Child was acting and reacting to the reality and people around. Because there were many wounds, identification, transferences, projections and mirrors you were not able to see for what they were. You pointed out towards the others as to be blamed for their attitude or for not giving you what you need…maybe victimizing yourself and considering that life is cruel and unfair for you.
And you wish for a new beginning and an improvement of your situation so you can return to fulfillment and happiness. What you need to know that this beginning only starts when you take yourself and your wounding seriously. When you recognize your identification with parents, children, friends, co-workers, and many other people who had an impact on your life. When you stop for 5 min before you react and consider the possible cause of what happens trying to understand it.
For many years I have been considered a kind of black sheep of the family, the one who broke the tradition in terms of relationships and life path, who made choices that other would criticize and find awkward. But lately some members of my family started to give me reason and even asked for help. Because now they started to see the inner work I did on myself and how much I changed and healed.
I believe that many of you experience this – the awakening and healing as an unique path that many around you would not understand. But be assure that is only your responsibility and choice to do this work and open for a real connection with the One who truly are. It does not matter if others will approve this new version of Yourself. It matters that you see improvement and progress and that all that happened to you starts to take a different meaning, bringing learning and wisdom to your life.
This is your time to reinvent Yourself and open a new path. It is not too late, and you have a precious ally, listen to him or her.
Your Inner child was always there for you, observing you and loving you. Do not say No to him or her, as it is the only energy and safe place you will ever have: your Home, centered in the Heart space.
Other articles on this blog:
The BIAS of being right or wrong
The BIAS is in the Mind, the Fear and Avoidance are in the Body to show us what Trauma brought on the surface. When we avoid speaking, looking into or understanding Trauma as part of our journey through life, we generate BIAS as an excuse for what we are not ready or not wish to face in a honest way.
About Success and trauma survival strategy
Why do I see so many disconnected (to be read as traumatized) people being Successful and really visible and acclaimed by others, by many followers or consumers of our society?
On HEALING and Healing!
Today I walk two paths of healing – my own, continuing with therapy and practices that make me able navigate the stress of daily life and proceed into the realms of hidden stories that my body and psyche can hold – and of the others.