I just finished watching a series dedicated or inspired from the life of a Porn star, named Rocco Siffredi. As I do not watch porn, I did not know anything about him but the movie shows he earned a kind of Oscar for his artistic performance.
I did not know what to expect from the movie but I have to say I was pleasantly surprised. And it can be a good case study for a training on Trauma biography and survival strategies.

It shows how much childhood traumas can impact the way we succeed in life, our fears as adults to accept love or express it openly and how our biggest pain and wound can become a Superpower. Rocco found his superpower in hardcore sex and he took it to excellence and even innovation…the little boy in him, affected by the loss of a handicapped brother, an emotionally absent mother and a love-hate relationship with a bigger brother, found his way of coping with the pain and suffering by conquering the world with his art made of dick performance. As his older brother was calling him a big dick, he proved able to fuck an entire world…or at least many porn actresses.

I am not trying to justify his choice and I do not even admire this lifestyle, but I understand the laying foundation of such an attitude and life. The movie shows his soft, kind side as a human, but also the animalic and ambitious part that he manages to bring at stardom level by conquering the Americas most craved stage – the Hot Oscar.
Funny enough he also manages at a certain point to confess his love for a Hungarian lady but still he would not abdicate to his porn star life in the name of Love.
After his mothers death, he chooses circumcision because he wants to feel the Pain every day he has sex…and he has it a lot as he lives from it. This self-mutilation that no one asked him to do shows also the masochist side of the character…but at the same time shows how complex the psyche is and how extreme a trauma survival strategy can become.
I have learned a lot from this movie…and even got emotional with some scenes, like the one when his mother dies without even looking at him whispering as last words the name of the brother who died while still young. At the cemetery he even gets a blowjob from an older lady in front of the coffin of his mother…a supreme act of liberation from the past, or a desperate need of his Inner child to cover with physical pleasure the emotional emptiness he feels?

For this Rocco life is Porn, an endless run after adrenaline and pleasure mixed with pain and suffering, a quest for power gained by overruling his own heart – while his heart is guiding him all the time back to his childhood and the memories he has of it.
I wish to ask you: do you have your Porn side of life too? I am not even speaking about sex or having loads of it, but about the meaning of Porn as a permanent race against the Heart acting like only the flesh matters not the emotions or feelings…

How is it to feel powerful enough to accept that you can be anything or anyone you want but still..you can command your Heart the same way you command your sexual drive?

Life is about how you harness your life force, your sexual energy and its intensity…you can play Porn in the most intense and pleasurable ways and still be very little connected to real Life purpose.

Do you know your limits and your real power to oversee the Porn and choose what really serves you? Your Heart!?