Family Constellation and the quest for Inclusion

The ability of any human being to connect with another person’s energy and represent it so faitfully, beyond words, is amazing.

Family Constellation and the quest for Inclusion

The ability of any human being to connect with another person’s energy and represent it so faitfully, beyond words, is amazing.

I studied family constellation for 2 years and since 2018 I also practice it as facilitator, as representative (resonator) or as client.

It has been an eye opening tool and connected me to something bigger and wider than Me and my own life: the morphogenetic field.

Bert Hellinger was the one to create this method, inspired by indigeneous wisdom, way of living and relating, and adding his own wisdom and experience from psychotherapeutical practice. He was a visionary and a familiar of the Field. He evolved and spread this method all around the world and many people study and use it nowadays. In some countries is not seen anymore as alternative psychotherapy but recommended and integrated into different systems (legal, medical, educational etc.) to bring balance and solutions.

What I wish to write about today is what Family constellation brought into my life and why I like to use it so much. Because it is not ordinary therapy, it is not coaching or counselling, it is not theater-like play…it is about Life and Death, ancestral legacy and the way we, as Human beings, belong to a wider network and field that moves according specific laws.

And one of the laws that Hellinger spoke as basic unit of his teachings and practices is the Inclusion (vs. Exclusion) of an energy in a whole system (being it family, work environment or other).

The exclusion of the energy has such a big impact that even after many generations a member of the system can be affected, just because that member sees the one excluded and inside the Heart wishes to include. It is the Love energy that moves the Inclusion effort and the lack of it (or distortion of Love – into Possessivenes or Control) creates separation, when exclusion happens.

Exclusion can be more or less visible, it can be giving a child for adoption and never speaking about its fate, aborting a child and not including it in the family amohg those who are alive, committing a crime against someone in the same system (that will eventually promote a Victim-Abuser dynamic along many generations), creating a difficult relation with one of the parents or the divorce of parents leading to ressentment and hate in the children testifying it.

Many situations of exclusion are stemming from hidden dynamics of not-resolved issues in our grand parents or even great grand parents families…and they lead to a perpetuation of a difficult situations (sometimes this also includes distorted beliefs and behavioral patterns or even symptoms and disease) in our life, creating not only energetical imbalance but also severe illness, depression, aggressivity, conflicts (even wars) etc.

he facilitator has the role to sieze where the cause of exclusion is or to understand how the hidden dynamic can be brought to surface and understood by the client so an inner acceptance and solution can be found. From a meta perspective, the facilitator guides and suggests the steps to be taken further, but does not oblige anyone to take them if not ready. Sometimes the step is very small small and starts with a spark of Love inside the heart chambers, from where more movement can expand and conquer the field in that system. The energies are then taken care by the field and they find their own ways to move along…sometimes that path seems miracoulos and we cannot figure out how it works. It is like our heart beat is connected with a wide energy field and this field propagates in waves…more energy we find inside our Heart that includes Forgiveness, Acceptance, Compassion, more the beat weave will find a larger propagation space and the consequences will become visible in the whole system.

Every constellation I am called to guide is unique and magic in its own movements and ways of resolution. I never know what I am supposed to do, advise or ask when I start. But I trust the field and the bigger movement, as many times I can feel the energies and see them moving in the field before it happens in visible way.

In several occasions the field connects with me few days before I do the facilitation. I start to receive information as images, words, synchronicties and I observe them and also try to feel inside if it is something worthy to pay attention to…and then I understand what they mean when the client addresses the question or describes the issue. I had situations with people with some experience of constellation or facilitators themselves when they tried to suggest how to work and what energies to bring into the field for resonating with representatives. But if the field told me NO, is not this the way, there is another issue or energy mostly important to look into… I trusted that voice inside that saw the connections and I suggested what is needed. And the next movement I see happening is confirming my intuition was right.

There is a lot of magic in a constellation resonance process…the ability of any human being to connect with another person’s energy and represent it so faitfully, beyond words, is amazing. If you never did the role of a representative, I recommend you to try at least once. If you are called to represent that energy, be also aware you carry part of it inside your own system and even if you do not understand it, do not reject it, it has an important teaching and experience to bring to your life.

I participated in many constellations, my own and of other people too…and I earned so much just by tuning in that energy and feeling it, representing it. I also represented archetypal energies, like countries, emotions, energetic centers and it has been such a blessing and enriching experience. Being it the Love, Life or Death, the Womb or Heart, every energy had something that I cannot define, very deep and universal. I could not put a label or word description in it…what I know it is part of my own inner landscape and it brings so much information I could not access in a different way.

I hope I gave you a glimpse into the constellation work and made you curious. If you wish to know more you can also ask me or just try a session! You might be rewarded with a deeper understanding of your own patterns, thoughts and issues…and a new path towards healing and resolution will open for sure.

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