Now, from the exchange of messages and different interpretations of the post, I reflected on how people read the posts and the images associated with them and what kind of feed-back comes…because facebook and social media in general is full of this kind of experiment. I tried to explain to some people that instead of a man being a wise old woman saying all those things to the young lady, the post would have had a different impact and discussion. Nevertheless it has been clear to meat a certain point that most of the negative thoughts or comments pointed out the patriarchal mindset behind the post and the fact that women should not be told what to use as clothes or how to behave or if to be/showcase as sexy or sensual…even when approaching the subtopic of a sacred body and how to treat such a body we came to debate about terms like objectification, body shaming, patriarchy over matriarchal views of the body and its value reflected in the culture, spiritual value of all this and so on…

It also became obvious at a certain point that most views on women and men clothing are so polarized and women still tend to play a lot the victim role…even when they claim their own power and voice, that voice is guided and manifested by the anger within and not coming from a safe and peaceful place, an inclusive place.

It was also obvious that no one was interested to discuss about survival strategies coming from excessive traumatization at social level, that make people (and especially the young generations) accept from fashion and other trends whatsoever is put in front of their eyes as common, normal, trendy, to be used and overused or even abused by excessive show-off…just because!

And it was indeed obvious to me that most of women who pretend to be enlightened and deeply connected with their sexuality and innate sense of worth (not the one distorted by trauma) would point out the finger on men and their patriarchal view of a woman body when effectively and obviously was the woman in that picture that chose a provocative way of showing parts of her body that, no matter how beautiful or sexy, were exposed unnecessarily for that specific occasion. According some of them probably we could all go on the street dressed as that young lady (or even worse, naked!), even if we do not feel the need or wish to, just because we wish to prove that our body is sacred and we can reclaim its raw power and sensuality whenever we think or wish so…without any consideration about how others would perceive this or the specific context for such display and its appropriateness.

I am also surprised to understand how limiting and biased are most views of feminist women on men’s mindset and reality in terms of opinions or body-related aspects. How much they feel separated and discriminated against by so called patriarchy when they do not have the full ability to connect with their inner reality and deconstruct artificial patterns of thought and evaluation of a certain reality or term or even image/text.

I say this in full awareness that the distinction between patriarchy and matriarchy and separatist views on how women or men should treat their body and its image (with or without clothing) are just a manifestation of inner separation and contradiction / translated as split from trauma. If we are truly connected and aware of the value of our body and of the rest that makes us a human being able to think, feel, decide and act for itself, why then we still go round and round with all these preconceived notions around sexes and their mis-relating or sexual exploitation, body shame and victimization and so on…

It is a reflection I make as a woman (who never followed fashion trends or abused her body with excessive outfits or nakedness) but also as a human being that understands that we all come from the same place: the womb of a woman. We all go through similar experiences in life starting with the gestation inside this womb, some have more negative ones others less, but at the end the results of cumulative traumatic experiences give us similar patterns, beliefs and trends of behavior…translated often in discrimination and distorted evaluation or poor judgement of the other. And as long as we keep or hold on to the survival strategies we elaborate to be able to cope with the loss, grief, anger, shame we continue to see and do (or react to) what our conditioning and trauma response taught us: to avoid reality, to create confrontational settings from nothing just because …, to feel better and more enlightened than others just because…, to expose ourselves unnecessarily to danger or dubious contexts and situations by dressing in ways that will create conditions for abuse eventually.

Therefore I only wish to ask you: do you praise your body enough to look at this container in the mirror and without judgement accept its sacredness and cherish it as a gift and faithful presence in every moment of your life?

How often do you dress your body in ways that feel precious, rare, to be treasured, unique, comfortable, desirable without ostentation, sensual and juicy without sexualization or objectification?

How often are you able to accept advice on how to dress or compliments for how nice you look without second thought, negative judgement or even shame?